This is why you can’t Support Everyone

The word support has different meanings to different people, but when I think of the word, I think of a verb. What action are you doing to show you support? Not everything has to be over the top, but the bare minimum is communicating excitement and pride so that person knows you believe in them and are happy for them.

I recently posted a video on Twitter and was surprised by the love I received. It was just one of those random in the moment car videos where I shared my thoughts on a topic. On that particular day I was saying it’s ok to have a bad day and that we all have low points in our lives. I then added that it’s important that we all check our circle and I think that part resonated with viewers. “Who are the people who are pulling from you, but they aren’t pouring back into you?” Yeah, that part. (The video is below.)

If you’re anything like me, you’re a very nice and giving person, but we all know that nice people always get hurt. I think it’s just something in us that makes it difficult to stop. Now, don’t get me wrong, if someone is disrespecting me or anyone I care about, that niceness is out the window. I’ll save that for different blog post. Today, I’m just focusing on how nice people need to stop being so darn nice to people who would never do the same for them. I tweeted this:

“You can’t force anyone to be happy for you, to support you, to show enthusiasm for your success, but you can control what you give. Stop pouring into dead situations that aren’t reciprocated. Match their energy level.”

When you’re genuinely nice and supportive, it’s in your nature to constantly show those people how you feel. Nothing about it is fake. You do it because you’re happy and proud of them. And you don’t do it expecting anything in return. After awhile, though, it becomes noticeable when they don’t show you the same support. It doesn’t mean they have to run out and buy gifts or anything extra, but a simple shout out on social media or a phone call or text with high energy can go a long way. I can’t stand dry people. That’s a red flag right there.

It becomes disappointing and draining when that pattern continues and you begin to feel like they don’t support you. It makes even the nicest person want to stop being nice. If you’re feeling like that’s you, I want to stop you right now. Don’t change who you are, but simply stop going above and beyond if the energy isn’t reciprocated. Why allow yourself to be drained emotionally over someone who doesn’t pour into you what you pour into them? Just stop now because it will get worse. Eventually you’ll turn bitter and cynical.

You can’t control what they do or don’t do, but you can control your own actions, so if the energy isn’t reciprocated, chill. You’ll thank me later.

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