“Why Me?”

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By Andrea V. Watson

Why me? Do you ever find yourself asking that question when life is bad? I know I have. Let’s be honest. There always seems to be something that’s going wrong and it gets to a point where you are just fed up and tired of pushing through.

We always hear the same positive stuff. “There can’t be success without obstacles.” Or how about, “There’s no testimony without a test.” I agree, but when you’re sad, angry, tired, ready to give up, you don’t always want to hear that stuff. After awhile, you just roll your eyes and sigh. Trust me, I know.

But when I found myself in that position over and over again, I felt guilty that I wasn’t always positive and that my faith wavered at times. I began to look at it differently. What if this whole thing has nothing to do with me? What if everything I’ve gone through, am going through and will go through is a part of something much bigger?

Most of us say we want to have an impact in this world, we want to make a difference in someone’s life, we want to live a fulfilled life. We see thousands of motivational speakers getting paid millions off of their books, online courses and speaking engagements. Now we all probably won’t make it to that level, but what if your trials and life experiences have to happen so you can touch someone else on a smaller level? It may not be 5,000 people, but maybe it’s that co-worker at your job who just lost her mother to breast cancer and needs some encouragement. Maybe it’s that friend who’s going through a divorce because their wife has been having a 10 year affair and they have no one to talk to. Maybe it’s that teen who has low self esteem and has been abused all her life.

Once you overcome the very thing that has caused you pain and has kept you in bed crying or staring blankly at the television, you can be that rock for someone else. You can be that little boost they need to get up and keep living.  Sometimes it may be for a complete stranger. You never know. It’s only natural for us, as humans, to feel more motivated and encouraged after talking to someone who has already been through what we’re currently going through. That’s a fact. You can’t say “you just don’t get it,” if that person has already lived your circumstance and survived it.

I remember being in an Uber one day and my driver seemed troubled. Usually I’ll say hello, make a little small talk and then listen to my music. On this particular day, I gave in. She was talkative. Somehow we got to more serious topics and she revealed some family issues and the situation with the guy she was dating.

I told her that I had experienced many of the very things that had her feeling sad. I started encouraging her and uplifting her and telling her that she will survive this.

Another time I was at a bar and started talking to a young woman. She told me about the verbal abuse she was experiencing and how she wants to breakup with her boyfriend. She was really sad.

I told her I understood. I shared my personal story of how I was with someone who would call me out my name, who was manipulative and controlling. I told her that he almost completely broke me, but I found strength to walk away before it got that bad. I told her that it’s going to hurt and it’ll take awhile because she still loves him, but that she deserves better. I told her she’s a queen and that she can’t forget her value and worth. I told her that staying will destroy her.

Now when I was going through that situation with the guy, the last thing on my mind was how I could help someone else in the future. I was beating myself up for missing or ignoring the red flags and I kept asking God Why?

Going back to what I said earlier, when you’re going through a storm, instead of complaining and getting depressed, change your mindset. Start telling yourself, I don’t know why this is happening, it seems like I can never get a break, but I pray that I can be a blessing to someone else because of this experience.

Remember, the storm does end. The sun is right behind the clouds. If you’re still in your dry season right now, please don’t worry yourself to death. It’s true what they say, taking things day by day really helps put your mind at ease. Stop looking weeks ahead because that’s just going to frustrate you. Find something you’re thankful for each day and plan how you’re going to survive today. Deal with tomorrow when it comes. But let me add, if you’re trying to be an entrepreneur or you have any kind of business plan, well yes, you need to create a timeline, but that’s different.

Anyway, the point is, you will get through whatever you’re going through. Your life will turn around. And you will become stronger because you survived it. You got this!